January 1, 2008 – 10:49 am
E G
E… E…
E G
E… E….
Chilidogs, cheeseburgers, cherry pie, and bread
Two of each, please, you heard what I said
Give them to me now, I can’t wait ’til later
Look at that girl, do you know why I hate her
She’s very, very pretty, and I’m an ugly man
Big in the belly and fat in the can
Ice cream, candy bars, licourice and cheese
You heard what I said, two of each, please
I can’t wait ’til later, so give them to me now
Why drink the milk when you can have a whole cow
If pretty girls don’t like me, they can kiss my ass
I drink lots of beer and I smoke lots of grass
I got duties. I’m gonna shirk.
I’m a duty shirker. I’m gonna shirk my duties tonight.
My succotash, well, it’s suffering.
And right before I crash, I’ll need some bufferin
C’mon girl. Take it easy with me.
C’mon girl. You been working too hard.
I’m a duty shirker. I’m a duty shirker.
I shirk my duties all night long.
I’m built for comfort not for speed, guitar.
I’m built for viewing not for doing, guitar.
I don’t have a list of jobs to do
What I have is a list of jobs to poo poo
I like to shirk ‘em. Don’t like to work ‘em!
I like to shirk ‘em. Don’t like to work ‘em!
C’mon girl. Take a load off.
C’mon girl. Let your muscles go soft.
I’m a duty shirker. I’m a duty shirker.
I shirk my duties all night long.
There’ll be a baby on board in just a few days
But baby I’m bored of your puritan ways
I wanna whoop it up where’d ya hide the one hitter
Might as well do it ‘for we need a baby sitter
Eight months of Shirley Temples, watered down O’Douls
I ain’t no sucker baby and I ain’t no fool
I’m gonna be Hungover and pregnant
If I’m gonna have morning sickness, I’m gonna do it right
I’m gonna rip it up tonight I’m gonna get tight
What happened last night, I hope the baby knows
I hope it still has ten fingers and ten toes
Two for ones are really two for twos
And theres only one way to chase away the blues
I’m gonna be hungover and pregnant
Marlboro red box Corona with a lime
I know the baby likes it cuz it’s kickin overtime
Some people drink alone but I never do
I’ve always got my drinkin buddy right inside my womb
He’s a chip off the block and a good time Charlie
Tomorrow morning we’ll be feeling pretty gnarly
We’re gonna be hungover and pregnant
E F
E G
E F
E G
G# G
G# G
Junebugs, spiders, and mosquitos
Mix ‘em up in a bag of cheetos
Outhouse Potty Champ, tear the woods apart!
Fill your belly with mozzarella
Now you are a happy fella
Outhouse Potty Champ, tear the woods apart!
Find a penny, pick it up
Or leave it there, who gives a fuck
Outhouse Potty Champ, tear the woods apart!
Earwax, toe jam, take a crap
Dancing naked, except for a cap
Ain’t gonna have no mercy on the pizza pie tonight
I’m gonna eat it all, every single bite
Pizza Party, Pizza Party, party hearty with the pizza pie
Ain’t gonna leave a crumb, not a single bit of crust
Ain’t gonna walk away hungry, satisfaction is a must
Pizza Party, Pizza Party, party hearty with the pizza pie
Are you gonna eat alone, or eat it with a friend?
You better make a choice, cuz the size of pie, it does depend
Pizza Party, Pizza Party, party hearty with the pizza pie
I like pepperoni, you like extra cheese
I like Granpa Tony’s, you like Ginelli’s
Pizza Party, Pizza Party, party hearty with the pizza pie
Cheesy disposition, Meaty conversation
Saucy innuendo, traditional celebration
Pizza Party, Pizza Party, party hearty with the pizza pie
Tell me it’s a hoax, I’m being played for a fool.
Your story’s gonna change when they’re sampling your stool.
Your nothin’ special and you’re nothin’ unique.
Just some more DNA extracted from your cheeks
Ain’t no weather balloon so keep your mouth shut.
It’s manned by the men who’re puttin’ things in your butt.
Your in the UFO logbook, baby!
Implantation and anal probation.
Got plans for you and there ain’t no salvation.
You’re going up in the sky to take a naughty nap.
They’ll be diggin’ deep inside just to find a piece of crap.
You say Alf wouldn’t do this and either would ET
But they’re trollin’ the galaxy just lookin’ for feces.
You’re in the UFO logbook, baby!
Enter the log!
